Period, the underappreciated punctuation symbol.

I've realized that our little punctuation friend, the period, gets very little respect these days. Compared to its cousins, the question mark and the exclamation mark, the period seems boring in contrast. Its existence, banal, its sole purpose seemingly only to serve as the end to sentences in which we do not wish to convey any emotion. When people are angry or upset, it is the exclamation mark that becomes the sentence-ender of choice, for example, "I'm getting very angry!". Similarly, when there is confusion, the question mark is the only choice, i.e. "What's going on?". If things are really crazy and there is confusion AND anger, the period is always left out of the ensuing orgy of punctuation symbols, such as in "What were you thinking?!?!?".

After much rumination, I've come to the conclusion that the period is capable of conveying just as much feeling, if not more, than the exclamation mark and the question mark.

For example, compare and contrast the following AIM conversations:

superstud19: i think i'm gonna flake
girlie32: fine!

superstud19: i think i'm gonna flake
girlie32: fine?

superstud19: i think i'm gonna flake
girlie32: fine.

First of all, the second conversation doesn't even make any sense and this would only happen if girlie32 did not have a firm grasp of the english language. With that said, I argue that the third conversation carries significantly more emotional weight than any of the other sentences. The combination of a single world plus a period convey a cold sense of finality, a feeling of "this is it" that the first conversation lacks with the exclamation mark. "Fine!" seems chipper almost, infusing the conversation with unnecessary enthusiasm. In fact, if I were superstud19, I would think that girlie32 was making a funny joke. In fact, I would laugh! "Hehe! girlie32 is expressing her anger in an exaggerated and over-the-top way in the style of George Costanza!" On the other hand, "fine." seems dead, it's not just "fine", but "fine... PERIOD."-- the conversation has ended and there is nothing left to discuss. I would be infinitely more crushed and soul-bruised if the third conversation were to take place. In fact, if the third conversation were to take place, there would be grave consequences, so grave that the resultant conversation would be laced with many more unnecessary periods to illustrate the seriousness of the situation. Possibly along the lines of:

superstud19: i think i'm gonna flake
girlie32: fine.
superstud19: why are you so mad.
girlie32: i'm not.
superstud19: yes you are.
superstud19: now i'm mad too.
girlie32: fine be mad.
superstud19: }=( .

Okay, now wasn't that conversation just dripping with malice and emotional gravity?? I thought so.

So yeah, the next time someone makes you mad, you might just want to think about adding periods to the ends of your sentences and letting your little pal period do some work for you.

My Blog's Reading Level

Aww helllll yeah.

I mean, what I meant to say is: I am deeply humbled that my meager little blog has received such high acclaim from this computer algorithm that counts the number of syllables in my sentences, of which there are many. This is, of course, simply a natural consequence of my Faulkner-isque writing style and not a feeble attempt to misrepresent my inteligence. Now if you'll excuse me, I am off to jubilate my award.

Cal Football

As much as it pains me to say this, we simply do not deserve to be invited to a bowl game this year.